Robert Waldinger ON: Why We Struggle to Connect & How to Stop Toxic Habits from Breaking Our Spirit
About this episode
You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour. This is a 90 minute interactive show where I will take you on a journey of finding, keeping and even letting go of love. Head to jayshettytour.com and find out if I'll be in a city near you. Thank you so much for all your support - I hope to see you soon. Today, I am talking to Robert Waldinger, a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, and co-founder of the Lifespan Research Foundation. Dr. Waldinger received his AB from Harvard College and his MD from Harvard Medical School. Dr. Waldinger is a practicing psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, and he directs a psychotherapy teaching program for Harvard psychiatry residents. He's also a zen master and teaches meditation in New England and around the world. And he is the co-author of the book, The Good Life: Lessons From the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness. Robert shares his expertise on adult happiness. We go back and forth with our thoughts on the effects of chronically stressful relationships on our physical body as well as our mental and emotional health, why we should stop minding what people think about us and instead start checking in with ourselves, and the pros and cons of engaging in personal development and being open to changes.      What We Discuss: 00:00:00 Intro 00:03:23 The pros and cons of remote conversations 00:05:16 This 75-Year Harvard Study 00:13:10 The three flavors of happiness 00:17:45 Turn to activities that are enlivening 00:20:18 We’re not trained to look inward 00:26:23 Take note of the things that are evolving  00:35:32 When you’re living with people that causes you stress  00:40:14 Active re-imagining of life from a different time 00:47:03 Chronically stressful relationships break down the body 00:53:30 Looking at the long view when dealing with relationships 01:01:00 Socio-emotional learning  01:02:57 How do we keep our relationships in shape? 01:06:02 Security of attachment for introverts and extroverts  Episode Resources Robert Waldinger | Website Robert Waldinger | Facebook Robert Waldinger | Twitter Robert Waldinger | LinkedIn Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty  https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Listen to this episode in English to learn English
Podcast episodes are one of the highest-density ways to absorb English at native pace. Robert Waldinger ON: Why We Struggle to Connect & How to Stop Toxic Habits from Breaking Our Spirit from On Purpose with Jay Shetty gives you natural dialogue, unscripted speech, and vocabulary that actually appears in real conversations.
In the Clue app, every word in the transcript is tappable. Tap an unknown word, see the translation in your language instantly, and keep listening without breaking flow.
Episodes to Learn English
- Jay’s Must-Listens: The Biggest Lessons From 10 of Our Most Inspiring Conversations Jul 8, 2026
- Lucy Guo: The Fastest Way to Build a Business Today (The #1 Strategy That Saves You Months of Wasted Work) Jul 6, 2026
- Dr. Chris Palmer: Your Diet Could Be Causing Anxiety, Depression & Brain Fog (6 Simple Changes to Make Today) Jul 3, 2026
- Lucy Kalanithi: What Loss Can Teach Us About Living (The Perspective Shift That Changes Everything) Jul 1, 2026
- Layla Taylor EXCLUSIVE: The Truth She's Finally Ready To Share Jun 29, 2026
- If You Can't Stop Thinking About Your Ex, Do This (The Path To Real Closure) Jun 26, 2026
- John Mackey: Not Sure You're on the Right Path In Your Career? (Use THIS Framework When You Feel Lost About What's Next) Jun 24, 2026
- Dr. Jill Biden: The Hardest Moments No One Saw (The Untold Story of the White House Years) Jun 22, 2026
- Stop Waiting to “Figure It Out!” (Do THIS In The Next 48 Hours to FINALLY Take the First Step in Finding Your Purpose) Jun 19, 2026
- Always “Too Tired” After Work? 5 Shifts to Optimize Your 5–9 and Finally Build the Life You Want Jun 19, 2026
- Emilie Kiser EXCLUSIVE: The Loss That Changed Her Forever Jun 17, 2026
- Dr. Ramani: If You're Thinking About Going No Contact With a Family Member - Listen to THIS (How to Know If It's Time To Walk Away) Jun 15, 2026
- The Simple Question That Makes Every Decision Easier (Use THIS Daily Framework To FINALLY Get Unstuck) Jun 12, 2026
- Riz Ahmed: How to Silence Your Inner Critic (And Build REAL Self Worth) Jun 10, 2026
- Coral Santoro: The #1 Reason Most People Never Reach Their Goals (Use THIS 1% Rule to Keep Making Progress When Motivation Disappears) Jun 8, 2026
- Miles Chamley-Watson: #1 Mindset Shift That Changes Everything (Try THIS to Stay Sharp, Focused, and In Control) Jun 3, 2026
- Sara Al Madani: Stop Falling for “Potential” (Look for THIS Instead So You Don’t Waste Months on the Wrong Person) Jun 1, 2026
- Stuck in Hustle Mode 24/7? (7 Types of Rest to Finally Recharge Without the Guilt) May 29, 2026
- Matthew Hussey: The #1 Dating Mistake Keeping You Stuck (Focus On THIS Over Chemistry and Build a Lasting Relationship) May 27, 2026
- Alex O’Connor: #1 Shift That Stops Endless Overthinking (FINALLY Get Unstuck) May 25, 2026
- 7 Mindset Shifts That ACTUALLY Work (Finally Change How You Think, React & Show Up) May 22, 2026
- Dhar Mann: Not Where You Want to Be Yet? (Follow THIS 5-Step Framework to Stop Overthinking and Finally Take Action) May 20, 2026
- Dr. Lisa Miller: Feeling Lost, Stuck or Anxious? (Use THIS Spiritual Framework to Finally Move Forward With Clarity) May 18, 2026
- Still Thinking About Your Ex? (Use This 2-Step Reset to Stop the Spiral for Good!) May 15, 2026
- Jay's Must-Listens: The #1 Way to Feel Stronger, Healthier & More Energized (Follow THIS Simple Weekly Workout Plan) ft. Senada Greca & Dr. Andy Galpin May 13, 2026
- HAYDEN PANETTIERE: The Truth Behind the Headlines (Finally Telling Her Story In Her Own Words) May 11, 2026
- Stop Saying Yes When You Want to Say No (Use This Simple Daily Practice to Set Boundaries Without Guilt) May 8, 2026
- Top Entrepreneur Anjula Acharia: The #1 Skill That Makes People Say YES (Use THIS Strategy to Turn One Conversation Into Multiple Opportunities) May 6, 2026
- Esther Perel: The REAL Reason You’re Struggling to Find Love (Fix THIS to Build Chemistry in Real Life) May 4, 2026
- Can’t Sit Still Without Distraction? (Train Your Brain With THIS Daily Practice & Embrace Boredom!) May 1, 2026