Esther Perel ON: Finding Love & the Real Reason Couples Break Up
About this episode
You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour. This is a 90 minute interactive show where I will take you on a journey of finding, keeping and even letting go of love. Head to jayshettytour.com and find out if I'll be in a city near you. Thank you so much for all your support - I hope to see you soon. Esther Perel talks with Jay Shetty about how the quality of our relationships affect our daily life, the right mindset when seeking love, creating a connection, or keeping a partnership, and the biggest relationship challenges during the pandemic. Belgian psychotherapist Esther Perel is a New York Times bestselling author, speaker and podcast host. Her celebrated TED talks have garnered more than 30 million views and she is also the host of the popular podcast Where Should We Begin? and How's Work?. Her newest project is Where Should We Begin - A Game of Stories. Learn more at EstherPerel.com/TheGame What We Discuss with Esther: 00:00 Intro 02:17 The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives 04:37 Relationship challenges while in quarantine and lockdown 08:55 Approaching a relationship at times of pressure 13:26 Resetting expectations of ourselves and boundaries of our space 18:23 When you’re putting an effort but your partner is unresponsive 22:14 Skills we lost in the pandemic and the skills we gained 27:47 Playing the ‘Where Should We Begin?’ game 33:58 Asking boring questions makes you feel that people are boring 36:48 Relationships about death, sex, and money 39:48 The intention or mindset one should approach love and relationships when seeking out a partner 42:57 From feeling madly in love to then feeling out of love, when they weren’t truly in love 45:36 What are the deepest, truest root reasons that relationships fail? 52:00 Have you been affected by the experience of infidelity in your life? 57:21 When to break up and move, when to stay and hold on 59:55 Fill in The Blanks 01:01:30 Esther on the Final Five 01:06:30 Meeting people who are truly happy and purposeful Like this show? Please leave us a review here - even one sentence helps! Post a screenshot of you listening on Instagram & tag us so we can thank you personally! Episode Resources: Esther Perel | Website Esther Perel | Instagram Esther Perel | TED Speaker Esther Perel | YouTube Esther Perel | LinkedIn Esther Perel | Amazon Esther Perel | Facebook Where Should We Begin? Podcast Where Should We Begin: A Game of Stories Achieve success in every area of your life with Jay Shetty’s Genius Community. Join over 10,000 members taking their holistic well-being to the next level today, at https://shetty.cc/OnPurposeGenius See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Listen to this episode in English to learn English
Podcast episodes are one of the highest-density ways to absorb English at native pace. Esther Perel ON: Finding Love & the Real Reason Couples Break Up from On Purpose with Jay Shetty gives you natural dialogue, unscripted speech, and vocabulary that actually appears in real conversations.
In the Clue app, every word in the transcript is tappable. Tap an unknown word, see the translation in your language instantly, and keep listening without breaking flow.
Episodes to Learn English
- Jay’s Must-Listens: The Biggest Lessons From 10 of Our Most Inspiring Conversations Jul 8, 2026
- Lucy Guo: The Fastest Way to Build a Business Today (The #1 Strategy That Saves You Months of Wasted Work) Jul 6, 2026
- Dr. Chris Palmer: Your Diet Could Be Causing Anxiety, Depression & Brain Fog (6 Simple Changes to Make Today) Jul 3, 2026
- Lucy Kalanithi: What Loss Can Teach Us About Living (The Perspective Shift That Changes Everything) Jul 1, 2026
- Layla Taylor EXCLUSIVE: The Truth She's Finally Ready To Share Jun 29, 2026
- If You Can't Stop Thinking About Your Ex, Do This (The Path To Real Closure) Jun 26, 2026
- John Mackey: Not Sure You're on the Right Path In Your Career? (Use THIS Framework When You Feel Lost About What's Next) Jun 24, 2026
- Dr. Jill Biden: The Hardest Moments No One Saw (The Untold Story of the White House Years) Jun 22, 2026
- Stop Waiting to “Figure It Out!” (Do THIS In The Next 48 Hours to FINALLY Take the First Step in Finding Your Purpose) Jun 19, 2026
- Always “Too Tired” After Work? 5 Shifts to Optimize Your 5–9 and Finally Build the Life You Want Jun 19, 2026
- Emilie Kiser EXCLUSIVE: The Loss That Changed Her Forever Jun 17, 2026
- Dr. Ramani: If You're Thinking About Going No Contact With a Family Member - Listen to THIS (How to Know If It's Time To Walk Away) Jun 15, 2026
- The Simple Question That Makes Every Decision Easier (Use THIS Daily Framework To FINALLY Get Unstuck) Jun 12, 2026
- Riz Ahmed: How to Silence Your Inner Critic (And Build REAL Self Worth) Jun 10, 2026
- Coral Santoro: The #1 Reason Most People Never Reach Their Goals (Use THIS 1% Rule to Keep Making Progress When Motivation Disappears) Jun 8, 2026
- Miles Chamley-Watson: #1 Mindset Shift That Changes Everything (Try THIS to Stay Sharp, Focused, and In Control) Jun 3, 2026
- Sara Al Madani: Stop Falling for “Potential” (Look for THIS Instead So You Don’t Waste Months on the Wrong Person) Jun 1, 2026
- Stuck in Hustle Mode 24/7? (7 Types of Rest to Finally Recharge Without the Guilt) May 29, 2026
- Matthew Hussey: The #1 Dating Mistake Keeping You Stuck (Focus On THIS Over Chemistry and Build a Lasting Relationship) May 27, 2026
- Alex O’Connor: #1 Shift That Stops Endless Overthinking (FINALLY Get Unstuck) May 25, 2026
- 7 Mindset Shifts That ACTUALLY Work (Finally Change How You Think, React & Show Up) May 22, 2026
- Dhar Mann: Not Where You Want to Be Yet? (Follow THIS 5-Step Framework to Stop Overthinking and Finally Take Action) May 20, 2026
- Dr. Lisa Miller: Feeling Lost, Stuck or Anxious? (Use THIS Spiritual Framework to Finally Move Forward With Clarity) May 18, 2026
- Still Thinking About Your Ex? (Use This 2-Step Reset to Stop the Spiral for Good!) May 15, 2026
- Jay's Must-Listens: The #1 Way to Feel Stronger, Healthier & More Energized (Follow THIS Simple Weekly Workout Plan) ft. Senada Greca & Dr. Andy Galpin May 13, 2026
- HAYDEN PANETTIERE: The Truth Behind the Headlines (Finally Telling Her Story In Her Own Words) May 11, 2026
- Stop Saying Yes When You Want to Say No (Use This Simple Daily Practice to Set Boundaries Without Guilt) May 8, 2026
- Top Entrepreneur Anjula Acharia: The #1 Skill That Makes People Say YES (Use THIS Strategy to Turn One Conversation Into Multiple Opportunities) May 6, 2026
- Esther Perel: The REAL Reason You’re Struggling to Find Love (Fix THIS to Build Chemistry in Real Life) May 4, 2026
- Can’t Sit Still Without Distraction? (Train Your Brain With THIS Daily Practice & Embrace Boredom!) May 1, 2026