Unmasking Masculinity With Lewis Howes

About this episode

The word authenticity has been so co-opted and commodified, it's now almost impossible to use it without sounding hacky. But the sentiment behind the word remains beautiful. To me it means living honestly and with integrity. It means the courage and self-confidence to be open and vulnerable. It's what it means to live, breathe and move in alignment with your truest, highest self. I do my best to live authentically. I strive to inject this sensibility into the content I create. And it’s a consistent theme of this podcast. Intellectually we understand the importance of living authentically. However, we all find ourselves — myself included — nonetheless projecting a version of ourselves onto the world. Not the raw truth but an edited impression of who we are and what we want others to see; a facsimile of identity, custom tailored to suit the expectations of our social environment. In other words, we all wear masks. We can characterize this behavior as dishonest. But it’s also just human. We're all guilty to a certain degree. We do it because we’re afraid. Because we’re insecure. And because honesty and vulnerability are terrifying. If people really knew me, I would be unlovable. The impulse to hide our fears and flaws is normal. Not only is it easier to don a facade, it's how we've been conditioned to behave for as long as we can remember. But when we inhabit the role we've been socially programmed to play at the cost our truest selves, we disconnect from both intimacy and ourselves, undercutting our ability to connect with others and inhabit the best of who we are are and what we have to offer. As counter-intuitive as it may sound, the more we can summon the courage to shed our masks – masks we have been wearing for so long and so persistently were not even consciously aware of them – in exchange for being open, honest, and vulnerable, the more integrated, whole, secure, confident, and ultimately authentic we ultimately become. It's scary. But overcoming this fear is the first step to truly blazing a path to becoming a fully integrated human. It's the journey to becoming whole. At peace with yourself. Empowered. Self-actualized. And ultimately, free. This is the subject of today’s conversation. To shepard us through it is my friend Lewis Howes, host of the very popular School of Greatness Podcast, NY Times bestselling author of The School of Greatness*, and the man behind a brand new book hitting stores this week entitled The Mask of Masculinity: How Men Can Embrace Vulnerability, Create Strong Relationships, and Live Their Fullest Lives*. A former professional football player and USA team handball Olympic hopeful who bottomed out before blossoming into a successful online entrepreneur, Lewis defies the stereotype that typically accompanies most successful alpha males. Enjoy! Rich